saggy boobs.

so i keep trying to leave comments and it wont let me!!

arie, i was going to comment on yours and say that im sorry youve been feeling down :( i get home a lot earlier than everyone in my apartment and it gets to me, too. we should hang out sometimes while everyone else is still at school! maybe you feel weird about dave because you really dont see him that often.. and when youre feeling down its easy to think of things to make yourself feel worse. all i can really tell you is that i know youre strong enough to not let this get to you completely. maybe you just need some more distractions :)

leah, im sorry you feel like life is being a bitch to you. :( i agree that you are a good person and these bad things should definitely not happen to you!! but as silly as it is, everything happens for a reason. it also makes me sad that you arent laughing a lot :( i hope when jordy arrives she will make you feel better. it takes a lot to adjust to a new place, you know? as you know better than any of us having moved to georgia and all. basically, i think youre amazing and you should keep your head up and do whatever you want to in order to have some fun!!!!

back to the title of this post... i have saggy boobs. yup, at age 20. how did this happen?! its just all going to go downhill from here. anyone else having this problem?
also, johann, hows your diet going? mine is failing miserably. i havent gained any weight but i havent lost any either! i cant wait till summer when we can be eating buddies :(

hmm.

So last night I was trying to get to sleep and I think my wisdom teeth do have to be taken out because I had a crazy toothache. I thought I would just listen to my ipod until I fell asleep. I tried to turn on my ipod then remembered that my roomate spilled water/beer on it so it would not turn on. ( I now have it plugged in to my computer and it is on i hope it holds battery) so I called my mom all pissy and just bitched about how tired I am of all these shitty things happening to me. i was bitching about KArma and how I think that I am a good person and I try really hard to be nice but OBviously there is a higher being who thinks that I suck and I must have been a Nazi in a past life. Because since I got here I have had my wallet with 150 pounds, my debit card, my student Id and my passport in it stolen, I have been sick twice (one of those times I am pretty sure I had the plague) My wisdom teeth are hurting me like whoa and my ipod might be broken. The punches just keep coming. And I have not met any of those charming british boys because we always have the boys from downstairs hanging around us and we might as well have leprosy with them hanging around. But anyways after bitching at my mom I fell asleep and I feel better now. I'm not cursing any higher beings today. Though if more shitty things happen you guys can count on me getting struck by lightning.

Next weekend Jordan gets here. I talked to my friend Samantha from GA last night and I realised that my roomates don't get my sense of humor. I was laughing with her about her professor defending someone who was obviously a baby shaker (long story) and my roomate cvame out to see if I was ok because she thought Iwas crying. I told Sam tha I don't laugh here. which prompted her to laugh at me. it was a good talk. I really do miss everyone dearly. But I have friends coming to visit soon so maybe that will help. Maybe if I can joke in front of my roomates they will catch on and then I can joke with them more when my home friends leave. I'm not sure he point of this post but oh well. catch you later.

proof that girls are crazy

so, i don't know whats wrong with me, but when i spend too much time by myself i can convince myself of anything. the past 2 days i've been done with class and everything by about 2:30, and from that point on have had nothing to do. so both days i came back to my room, played wii for a little bit, then took extremely long naps, which is weird, cause i don't nap. but yesterday i took a 4 hour nap! which for me is HUGE! and then, idk, just so much time by myself my thoughts have been going haywire. i can easily convince myself of things like somethings wrong with my relationship, or i have no friends and no social life, or that people are mad at me when they're really not. and from a rational point of view, none of any of these things are true, but for some reason lately i've been left feeling really alone and depressed. like, i got in a fight with dave on sunday night, and we went to bed angry which really bothered me, but by early monday we had everything completely resolved, and things have been fine after that. but for some reason i can easily tell myself something's wrong and we're gonna break up and all of these things, when the truth is nothing's wrong and everything's perfectly fine. but why do i do this to myself?? sometimes i really feel like i'm going crazy :(

thank you

you guys are amazing. it means so much to know that you all support me. i talked to my teacher about this last week and he said that i just have to start trusting myself. so whenever im feeling down, i will think about you guys cheering me on!! maybe leah will even have some whipped cream to spray around! (ps. if you come to my recital next year, i will def. have some there for you :) im sorry it took me so long to read all the posts! yohann, im glad youre teaching and enjoying it! thats so exciting!! one day i will send my children to your school :) leah, i think i already told you on the phone that i too admire what youre doing.. but if i didnt, i really do. i think youre very brave and strong and wonderful for going to a foreign country all alone and helping kids with their lives. arie, im glad your laptop is alive haha. the opera was really fun!! we really do have to go to dinner with my parents some time. next time youre bored and sick of dining hall food, call me up!
this week my choir is singing at carnegie hall with the new york philharmonic!! im super excited. so many people bitch about having to miss class and blahblahblah, but these are amazing experiences and im glad i get to have them. i hope everyone else is doing well, too. now i have to go home and eat roast chicken, but once again i just want to say how much it means to have all of your support. many people have said the same encouraging words to me, but somehow they are so much more meaningful and real coming from you guys! i love you all!!!

So THIS is what its like to update...

hello ladies,

I'm sure you will all be pleased to hear, my lap top has risen from the dead. My friend at Rider, Jen, has taken dear Lap Top to her brother, who exorcised the demons, but those tricky mofo's wouldn't all leave, so apparently he just deleted everything on my comp and started over. But it now starts in less than a minute (1/30 of the time it did before....no lie), and I will apparently be able to use it as a functioning computer. Idk though, she has it still and is giving it to me tomorrow, so we'll see how things go.

Other things to catch you up on....hmm....there was a scare for a while I might have Mono! A month ago I got sick, then Dave got sick, then I got sick AGAIN, then so did he (and amazingly no kissing was going on!! :( so idk), but he went to the doctor, and was told there was a good possibility he had Mono.....greeaattt. My first boyfriend and he gives me mono...the only thing worse would be my first sexual experience and getting an STD lol... But, even though I'm STILL recovering from being sick all month, he's all better and no signs of Mono, so lets keep our fingers crossed. But seriously, at this point I've had everything from a stomach virus (which ended my 17 year streak of not throwing up) to crappy colds...I think when I'm over this one I'll be immune to all common colds! ....or so it feels. But the good news is I've been so traumatized from being sick that I've hardly been hungry, so while I haven't been starving myself or anything, I think I've actually lost a significant amount of weight! ...lets just hope I can keep it off so I can finally fit back into the black dress from my sweet 16 and leah's dream :)

And besides all of that, not really much of anything else to catch you all up on. If I think of something though, I will most certainly let you all know.

I can't wait til we reunite the FLA!! :) <3

Lyd my love.

This is the first I have ever heard you doubt what you want to do lyd. Everyone doubts a commitment as big as a career choice. I don't know if I can handle dealing with the people I want to help. Did you know I changed my major three times in my first semester? I believe Chelsea has now changed her major twice now. Arielle thought about transfering to a seminary school and becoming a preacher in her freshmen year if I recall correctly. One mess up in a small classroom will not affect* your career which I sure will be brilliant. I think your voice is breathtaking and completely unique and I know you are probably thinking "what the hell do you know you have clogged ustation tubes and deafness runs in your family" well yes and I know very little about music as well but I am not alone in thinking this. Remember when you got that e-mail from that famous dude saying that he really thinks you are going places? I do and i tell people that when I talk about you. I am so proud to be friends with all of you and I brag about your talent so the thought of you being insecure about that is mind-boggling to me. And as for you being smart enough to do different things, there are plenty of smart people out there but not a lot of people with your kind of voice. Do what makes you happy.

Speaking of smarts, or lack there of, I learned a new term from my students the other day. Tit-wanking. It means boob fucking ( ijust typed that and I can'y see where it came up so I had to type it again so if it means boob fucking shows up anywhere else, my apologies) I really do love my kids. The only part I hate about my job is the whole educating part. Getting them to any kind of work is by far the most tedious ridiculous thing I have ever hadto do. Its the comments like "you mothers nipples" and "i'll put syphillis in your face" that get me through that part. I would much rather I were involved in the whole social work aspect then the education aspect. I'm quite good at talking kids through their problems. Thats all i can think of to write at the moment. it wa snice hearing form you arielle! I miss all of you. Oh! I have been pretty sick lately the doctor told me it is a cold but i wanted to inform her that in fact it is the plague. I'm feeling betterish now. About 80% which is good because I have been feeling liek 30% but I really hope I am at least 90% tomorrow if not I am going to be in a real foul mood becaus eI have left the house 3 times this week and its getting old. But anyways I have been having crazy fever dreams where my roomates piss me off and i either bitch at them or cry alone. To reiterate this is in my fever dreams. I love them and they love me and would never actually piss me off that much. But anyways my dream last night was that we went to class and our teacher told us he was taking us to a pub but instead took us through backyards like over fences and whatnot to a house party. I was still pretty sick in my dream and I fr some reason was without a coat ad shoes. It is damn cold here btw. I wanted to just go back to the flat because I wasn't feeling well, but they convinced me to come coatless and shoeless. When we got there they all completely ignored me and isolated me. When I tried to walk up to them they would see me and run away Celia (in my dream) actually told me to leave her alone. SO i decided to go home and cry alone and rest so I tried to go to each of my roomates and was denied then I saw arielle in the black dress with them pink toule that she wore at her sweet sixteen and I went to her and told her that I was going home and she kissed me on th eforehead asked me if I were ok, offered to walk me back and said she hopes I feel better. True friend. My roomates would never never do that an I'm pretty sure they enjoy my company. But still I had to share that with you guys. Thats it for real this time! Catch you later!

i heart lydia

i agree with arielle. you have an amazing voice and a gift like that should be shared. so that is a meaningful thing to do with yourslef. also- if one day you realize you arent being fulfilled by singing or you want to do more, guess what? you can! lots of people do multiple things throughout their life that might not even be a little bit related to each other. so dont stress. and i know how hard it is to do well when you are freaking yourself out. especially when you feel like other people might be judging you. i had to teach a lesson in front of 30 college students last semester and pretend they were 8. i was so nervous. i kept skipping over things, i blanked on everyones name (we had been in class with each other for two years), and it was a big mess. it made me feel like a failure as a teacher. so you have to get over the freaking out so you can be as awesome as we all know you are.
speaking of teaching- i started full time teaching this week. which means i teach the whole day and my teacher is just observing/helping me. i was so scared i thought i was going to throw up monday morning! but it has gone really well so far. im really excited! i cant wait to do this next year. although sometimes i feel really overwhelmed by all the stuff i have to keep track of. so its a mixture of stress and excitement this week really. ok- thats about all thats going on down here in chapel hill. love you all =)