i just want to say I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!
I'm so sorry i haven't been on to update all my lovely ladies on my life. Unfortunately there will soon be a memorial service held for my lap top, and as such I really haven't been online much lately. If I am its stealing my rommates laptop to get 2 seconds on myspace and facebook, and then I'm gone :( But I promise you all I will be on more often from now on, despite my crazy busy and hectic semester.
But, for now I have to run, not really anything to update you all on. But soon I will be on to read all the posts I've missed and comment on them all. But no matter what, I love all you ladies soooooooooooooooo much, and I'm gonna be really sad on Valentines Day without all of you!!!
I LOVE YOU GUYS!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
overwhelmed.
so last night, i got home from school and had a billion things going through my head that are still bugging me now. who better to talk to about this then you guys?!?
im taking a class this semester with about 10 people in it. we all take turns getting up and singing and the teacher coaches us while everyone watches. now, these are the kinds of classes i should be thrilled about, because all i have to do is sing! however, yesterday i was sitting there the whole time thinking "omg, im going to sing so badly. everyone else is 938023958 times better than me. im bad!" and alas, it was not so great when i finally sang. i was so nervous that i was shaking and i had tunnel vision and i couldnt breathe deeply. so i guess i have pretty severe performance anxiety. when things like this happen, it makes me feel like maybe im not doing the right thing with my life. i mean, in the long run, what does it matter if i can tell you the meaning of a poem or not? who will care if my breath support is consistent? its not like im saving people's lives. one of the things that scares me the most is that im so worried ill end up doing a mediocre "temp" job that i hate forever. but the worst part is, i know that im smart enough to have done something meaningful.. i just dont want to waste my life away. im terrified of going back to this class and i dont know what to do. im going to talk to my teacher about it. he always says to just compare myself to myself, but its so hard not to compare myself to other people. and when i do that, i feel like im the worst one there. :(
so i just wanted to get that off my chest. thanks for reading
im taking a class this semester with about 10 people in it. we all take turns getting up and singing and the teacher coaches us while everyone watches. now, these are the kinds of classes i should be thrilled about, because all i have to do is sing! however, yesterday i was sitting there the whole time thinking "omg, im going to sing so badly. everyone else is 938023958 times better than me. im bad!" and alas, it was not so great when i finally sang. i was so nervous that i was shaking and i had tunnel vision and i couldnt breathe deeply. so i guess i have pretty severe performance anxiety. when things like this happen, it makes me feel like maybe im not doing the right thing with my life. i mean, in the long run, what does it matter if i can tell you the meaning of a poem or not? who will care if my breath support is consistent? its not like im saving people's lives. one of the things that scares me the most is that im so worried ill end up doing a mediocre "temp" job that i hate forever. but the worst part is, i know that im smart enough to have done something meaningful.. i just dont want to waste my life away. im terrified of going back to this class and i dont know what to do. im going to talk to my teacher about it. he always says to just compare myself to myself, but its so hard not to compare myself to other people. and when i do that, i feel like im the worst one there. :(
so i just wanted to get that off my chest. thanks for reading
Sunday, February 8, 2009
dreams and alcohol.
I couldn't think of a title but those are two subjects that will be covered in this post. Last night I dreamt of Brian Kratchman. My aunt pam was also in my dream talking about pubic hair. She kept saying "pubes" and then I gave her a look and she said "pubes are my favorite subject" and I said "cool we'll discuss them over dinner" We were at Brian Kratchman's sister's wedding (which actually turned out to me Dara's sisters wedding) and the ceremony was about to start. I only saw Brian at a distance but I wanted to dance with him. I was then awoken by my phone ringing. Who would be calling me a 6 in the morning my time and 1 in the morning your time? I'll let the culprit own up. But I'll give you a couple hints. It's a girl who reads this and she was drinking. Her name also rhymes with smellsea. But when I went back to sleep i tried to start my dream of the Kratchman but there was no use. The Kratch was gone. *sigh* Thanks smellsea.
I'm not sure what else to update you on. I haven't hooked up with anyone and Johann I'm not sending home any brits for you until I find my own. Sorry.
We found flights to egypt in april for $300 and then an all inclusive resort for 60$ pernight. That 60$split between at least 4 people. So i am probably going to egypt in april.
Arie where are you?
I'm not sure what else to update you on. I haven't hooked up with anyone and Johann I'm not sending home any brits for you until I find my own. Sorry.
We found flights to egypt in april for $300 and then an all inclusive resort for 60$ pernight. That 60$split between at least 4 people. So i am probably going to egypt in april.
Arie where are you?
Friday, February 6, 2009
No Creative Title Today
i too wish we could have valentines day dinner together. i still remember the time lydia bought me my first valentines present from cvs. its still the only v day present ive ever recieved. my life is so cool haha. anyway- i know the busy life excuse is lame but ive been crazy busy as well. student teaching is fun but exhausting. sometimes i just come home and collapse on my bed. i dont know how im going to make it through the next 30 years of my life! chelsea- im sorry your scottish boy turned out to be lame =( at least you got some action first tho. i dont really have much to share. my life is spent at my elementary school, writing lesson plans, sleeping, or eating. on the weekends i lead a very exciting life of building houses and teaching sunday school. wow- i sound old and boring. you guys need to update me on your adventures so i can live through you. love you all! happy valentines day. anyone who wants to send me a boy in the mail as a valentines present would be my bestest friend for ever and ever. (hint hint leah- plain faced boys with british accents would be especially appreciated)
blah
sorry i haven't been on here too much!! school has been crazy so far. my choir had a full week of performances in NYC this week, so i am just really tired and drained. jess, im sorry to hear that you are so sad :( but i love you and hope you feel better soon. we WILL hang out next week!! johann, im sorry that you are having family drama too.. hope everything is ok. i also loved your cooking story haha. chelsea, that scottish guy is stupid.. he is missing out. leah, how was the crazy snow storm? arie.. where are you?!?!
i lost my cell phone today.. so dont expect to be contacted by me for a while :( i guess if you want to text me, text billy instead! its probably a good thing, since my phone was super old and lame.
not much else is really going on right now.. i dont really have an awesome life that im too busy to update about ;) just getting readjusted to school and trying to stay healthy. i wish we could all be together for valentine's day, too. i will never forget when we gave mhp flowers. speaking of mhp, he should be honored to be in our movie. i also like abyss of ovulation for the title. to play me.. hmm. i really like drew barrymore but yohann stole her!! so i guess rachel mcadams or kate winslet. haha. probably rachel mcadams. yohann, i have been watching big love .. im all caught up!! im so mad that bill is dating a fourth. what the hell is wrong with him?!
but anyway, i love you all and i promise i will keep up with this blog from now on!!! hope everyone has a lovely weekend :)
i lost my cell phone today.. so dont expect to be contacted by me for a while :( i guess if you want to text me, text billy instead! its probably a good thing, since my phone was super old and lame.
not much else is really going on right now.. i dont really have an awesome life that im too busy to update about ;) just getting readjusted to school and trying to stay healthy. i wish we could all be together for valentine's day, too. i will never forget when we gave mhp flowers. speaking of mhp, he should be honored to be in our movie. i also like abyss of ovulation for the title. to play me.. hmm. i really like drew barrymore but yohann stole her!! so i guess rachel mcadams or kate winslet. haha. probably rachel mcadams. yohann, i have been watching big love .. im all caught up!! im so mad that bill is dating a fourth. what the hell is wrong with him?!
but anyway, i love you all and i promise i will keep up with this blog from now on!!! hope everyone has a lovely weekend :)
Hello, it's me.
Hello guys. I thought I'd get on this thing and give you all a real update of my life. But first, I must pose this one question: WHERE IS ARIELLE AND LYDIA? HMMMM? They obviously need to get on this thing more often.
OK, so, updates..hmm..well, I am no longer a science major which is fun. But suddenly I have a lot of papers to write which I am totally not used to. I think there are going to be a lot of resources in this school that I'm going to have to start taking advantage of (i.e. the writing labs.) I don't think I told all of you, but I am on conditional standing. That basically means if I don't do well this semester, Rider is kicking me out. Let's keep our fingers crossed.
Work sucks. All the time. I never enjoy going to work. Like ever. Luckily I don't have to work too often. They usually just put me on call. which sucks, but at least I don't have to go in sometimes. I almost have to work on Valentine's day from 3:00 to 10:30. But I told them I can't so they better change that for me. Besides, I'm planning on having a lovely Valentine's Day party for Gee Hall. So, yay for that.
I wish we had a wonderful concert to attend this Valentine's Day. Actually, I just wish we were all together for it. Valentine's Day is cliche and stupid but I love it when I'm with you all.
Quick update on men, because I don't really like to talk about them, but think you all shuold know: That adorable Scottish boy and I hooked up last Friday and it was wonderful and he was nice to me and told me 'he's not just anybody.' (dont worry, I didn't buy into his crap that much.) But, then by Sunday he was ignoring me and avoiding me so I confronted him and he told me it just felt all wrong and blah blah blah...basically, he's a douche bag. So, he's gone. Which is fine because he is a poetry writing pansy and it'd just be a relationship of puke.
So, yeah that basically it and I think we should pester Arie and Lyd to get on this thing because they have lives to update us on too. Maybe thats why they're not updating...because they have lives. Annnyway, Jordan is coming to visit me tomorrow. I'm stoked. She's cool. And, I'm going to buy alcohol tonight.
OH!
and most importantly, I have a SUPER AWESOME video to upload to this thing later. I'm not on my computer right now so I don't have the file. But, it's a good one and I will post it soon.
OK, so, updates..hmm..well, I am no longer a science major which is fun. But suddenly I have a lot of papers to write which I am totally not used to. I think there are going to be a lot of resources in this school that I'm going to have to start taking advantage of (i.e. the writing labs.) I don't think I told all of you, but I am on conditional standing. That basically means if I don't do well this semester, Rider is kicking me out. Let's keep our fingers crossed.
Work sucks. All the time. I never enjoy going to work. Like ever. Luckily I don't have to work too often. They usually just put me on call. which sucks, but at least I don't have to go in sometimes. I almost have to work on Valentine's day from 3:00 to 10:30. But I told them I can't so they better change that for me. Besides, I'm planning on having a lovely Valentine's Day party for Gee Hall. So, yay for that.
I wish we had a wonderful concert to attend this Valentine's Day. Actually, I just wish we were all together for it. Valentine's Day is cliche and stupid but I love it when I'm with you all.
Quick update on men, because I don't really like to talk about them, but think you all shuold know: That adorable Scottish boy and I hooked up last Friday and it was wonderful and he was nice to me and told me 'he's not just anybody.' (dont worry, I didn't buy into his crap that much.) But, then by Sunday he was ignoring me and avoiding me so I confronted him and he told me it just felt all wrong and blah blah blah...basically, he's a douche bag. So, he's gone. Which is fine because he is a poetry writing pansy and it'd just be a relationship of puke.
So, yeah that basically it and I think we should pester Arie and Lyd to get on this thing because they have lives to update us on too. Maybe thats why they're not updating...because they have lives. Annnyway, Jordan is coming to visit me tomorrow. I'm stoked. She's cool. And, I'm going to buy alcohol tonight.
OH!
and most importantly, I have a SUPER AWESOME video to upload to this thing later. I'm not on my computer right now so I don't have the file. But, it's a good one and I will post it soon.
Monday, February 2, 2009
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